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Week 4, 2004
THE REGULARS: Summary
A) Song of the week: "Dear God" by XTC 
B) Penguin Readers: World Music - A Success Story
C) The New York Times/Vows: Shari Boulanger and Andrew Bombeck [Histoires de mariages : elle lui fait don d'un rein et l'épouse dans la foulée]
D) The New York Times/The Ethicist [Conseils sur l'éthique et la déontologie : Dois-je dédommager les proprios d'un toutout que mon chien a tué ? Puis-je jeter dans la rue des objets biodégradables ? Alors qu'elle m'a quitté, dois-je  rembourser à mon ex-copine sa part de la reprise des meubles qu'on a payée ensemble en s'installant?]
E) Slate/Dear Prudence: What to do when racial ancestry is unclear [Conseils sur la vie sentimentale et la vie tout court : Je viens de découvrir que j'ai une ancêtre noire ; lorsqu'une copine passe la nuit chez moi, elle traîne tout le lendemain ; après m'avoir annoncé qu'il est bi, mon mari me dit maintenant qu'il est gay ; je sais que mon mari est fidèle, mais comment répondre à une lettre anonyme disant qu'il me trompe ?]
F) Miss Manners: A Center of Controversy [Conseils sur les bonnes manières: Comment couper un gâteau ? Pourquoi les gens sont-elles obsédées par la question de l'orientation sexuelle des tiers ?]

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A) Song of the week: "New Year's Day" by U2 
"Dear God" [originally performed by XTC, written by Andy Partridge, 1987]

Dear God,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
'Cause they don't get enough to eat

From God,
I can't believe in you.

Dear God,
sorry to disturb you,
but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
'Cause they can't make opinions meet,
About God,
I can't believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear God,
Don't know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true. [junk = bazar, rebut]
Well I know it ain't and so do you,
Dear God,
I can't believe in,
I don't believe in,

I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners, [sinner = pecheur]
No Devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown. [thorn = épine]
You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
that the Father, Son and Holy Ghost,
Is just somebody's unholy hoax, [hoax = canular]
And if you're up there you'll perceive,
That my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe in...

It's you,
Dear God.

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On 19 November 2000, thousands of people in New York went to the Great African Ball. The star was Youssou N'Dour, a singer from Senegal. Twenty years ago, African and Asian music was not heard much in Europe or America. Then suddenly, in the 1980s, everybody was listening. Why was World Music suddenly so popular? Because some famous rock stars from the 1970s – Peter Gabriel, Ry Cooder and Paul Simon – made albums with musicians from African and Asian countries. 

When English singer Peter Gabriel left the rock group Genesis in 1975, he became interested in World Music. He organized the first World of Music, Arts and Dance Festival (WOMAD) in 1982. There are now WOMAD festivals every year all over the world. Many musicians and singers who have played at WOMAD festivals – people like Youssou N'Dour and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan from Pakistan – have become international stars.

Youssou N'Dour started his first group in Senegal in 1979. Senegalese taxi drivers in Paris introduced his music to French listeners. Then Peter Gabriel heard Youssou N'Dour and invited him to sing with him on a world tour. He also asked him to sing on his 1986 album, So. The album was a great success. Since then Youssou N'Dour has had his own international hit – 7 seconds – which he sang with Neneh Cherry, and sold albums all over the world.

Ry Cooder is famous now for the album The Buena Vista Social Club (1997) – recorded with Cuban musicians Compay Segundo (age 92) and Ruben Gonzalez (age 80), who were famous in Cuba in the 1950s. But in the 1960s he played on Rolling Stones' records. His first World Music album was recorded in 1993. He made A Meeting by the River with Indian musician V.M. Bhatt. This won a Grammy award. His next album, Talking Timbuktu (1994), with Malian musician Ali Farka Toure, won another Grammy

Simon and Garfunkel were famous pop stars in the 1960s. They split up in 1970, and Paul Simon worked as a singer-songwriter. But in the 1980s he became less popular. He went to South Africa for new ideas. In 1986, he made an album, Graceland, with black South African musicians. It became one of the most popular albums of the 1980s. 'Paul Simon is stealing music from another country to help his own career,' some people said. But Graceland helped to make South African music world famous. In 1990 Simon made an album, Rhythm of the Saints, with musicians from Brazil.

Millions of people in Europe and America are now listening to World Music. There will be another Great African Ball in New York next year. Everybody is welcome. But if you can't be in New York next November, don't worry. You can still find Youssou N'Dour and many other World Music stars at a record shop near you!

Penguin Dossiers Copyright Pearson Education Limited 2001

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When the man Shari Boulanger was dating told her his kidneys were failing and he would probably need a transplant, she responded with loving concern, but in her typically laid-back style. "Oh don't worry honey, I'll give you one of mine," she recalled telling Andrew Bombeck, whom she had known for little more than a year. But soon after the words had crossed her lips in early 2000, she realized the gravity of her offer. "You're like, `Uh-oh, what did I say?' " recalled Ms. Boulanger, a slender, blond 50-year-old who works in graphics and marketing for Sun Sounds of Arizona, a reading service for the visually impaired in Tempe. 

Mr. Bombeck, 48, an elementary school teacher in Phoenix, has polycystic kidney disease, a hereditary condition that ultimately led to the death of his mother, the humorist Erma Bombeck, in 1996, of complications after a transplant.

Ms. Boulanger first spotted Mr. Bombeck the way someone might spot a puppy — through a window, in the control room at Sun Sounds, which was then in Phoenix, where Mr. Bombeck was doing a reading of children's stories. "Shari was checking him out," recalled Jeannie Ost, a colleague. In a way, Ms. Boulanger could not help noticing him. Mr. Bombeck, considered something of a character by his friends and family, was wearing apple green pants, "like something you would get at the Gap 20 years ago," Ms. Boulanger remembered. Luckily for Mr. Bombeck, Ms. Boulanger, who is a painter, has a thing for color, too. Her wardrobe includes royal purples and bubble gum pinks, and she uses vivid hues in her work. 

Mr. Bombeck, a lifelong bachelor, and Ms. Boulanger, who has been married and divorced twice, say humor is crucial to their relationship. Mr. Bombeck said if he learned anything from his mother, it was "not to take yourself too seriously." His sister, Betsy Bombeck, recalled that their mother's work often included anecdotes about his penchant for doing crazy things, such as pouring Orange Crush into an overheated car radiator. 

By Christmas 2002, Mr. Bombeck's need for a new kidney was urgent. His doctors had determined that Ms. Boulanger, with her universal blood type, O, and overall good health, was a perfect donor. And so the weight of her offer came back to rest squarely on her shoulders. Ms. Boulanger, who said she always knew that they would be together for the long haul, agreed to go ahead with the laparoscopic removal of a kidney — and she also agreed to Mr. Bombeck's formal proposal of marriage, which he delivered on Valentine's Day last year. 

In April, doctors at Johns Hopkins Medical Center in Baltimore performed the double procedure. Ms. Boulanger said that she wasn't nervous until she was waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. "I tend to be Pollyannaish about things," she said.

On Dec. 27, which was an uncharacteristically cold evening for central Arizona, the couple stood in a gazebo before Bill Linderman, an evangelical pastor, and 300 guests at the Corona Ranch in Laveen, just outside Phoenix, and shivered through the vows they had written. When Mr. Linderman asked the bride, who wore a ruby-colored velvet dress, if she would promise not to get angry when Mr. Bombeck watched "Fear Factor" while grading papers, she agreed. But when the bridegroom, dressed in a plum-colored velvet suit, was asked in turn to promise to stop firing Ms. Boulanger's gardeners, he turned down the request with a laugh.

(After the Dec. 27 ceremony, it was learned that Mr. Linderman is not an ordained minister and therefore was not legally empowered to marry Ms. Boulanger and Mr. Bombeck. The couple then revealed that they had been legally married on Dec. 21 by a minister in a small private ceremony at their home in Phoenix.)

Friends joke that Mr. Bombeck carries a piece of his wife with him wherever he goes, but when he talks about the transplant, he grows solemn. "That someone would be willing to do this, it's unbelievable," he said. "It's such a gift you can't even describe it."

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Q:
My 90-pound golden retriever killed a 4-pound Yorkshire terrier at a leash-free exercise area. I had just led my guy down from a polo field to avoid the horses, when a couple, unburdened by sense or judgment, released their pink-beribboned rag. They sent us a bill for $1,400 for replacement, cremation, burial urn, vet bills, etc. My wife says, ''Pay it.'' I say the laws of assumption of risk and contributory negligence favor us. What does ethics say? C.L.S., Prospect, Ky. 
A:
Your dog kills another dog, and you quibble about legal liability and the wisdom of the other dog's owner? Your effort to avoid taking some responsibility is vigorous but unconvincing. Here's the ethical guideline you seek: If your dog behaves murderously when off the leash in public, then keep him on the leash and out of the dog run. As to the money, some might criticize (O.K., mock) laying on so lavish a funeral for a dog -- burial urn? -- but you are in no position to do so. Take your wife's advice: pay the bill. 

The Yorky's owners may be a pair of airheads, but you should still treat them with generosity of spirit, something ethics encourages (one of its less appealing features, admittedly). 
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Q:
I pick up litter when I find it in my environs, but I maintain that biodegradable objects like apple cores not only can be thrown away in rustic settings; they should be. This cuts down on local waste and provides the ultimate recycling for local flora and fauna. As proof of my sincerity, I happily throw apple cores into the bushes in my backyard. My wife feels that litter is litter. You? B.F.H., Branford, Conn. 
A:
If I understand correctly, you're O.K. with my dumping my apple cores in your backyard. And presumably my coffee grinds, eggshells, banana peels and fish heads (it's a family recipe: mmm) -- all biodegradable, all good fertilizer. In fact, so eager am I to embrace your philosophy, I'll have my neighbors bring their garbage too. (It's a little inconvenient, what with our living in Manhattan, but you make quite a case.) 

Ah, the joys of sarcasm! 

You may do what you like on your own property, as long as you don't injure your neighbors, violate the law or irk your wife: she lives there, too. But in public, you should adhere to the conventional definition of trash unless you wish to debate your theory with the cop who writes you a littering ticket. 
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Q:
When my girlfriend and I moved into a loft, we paid the outgoing tenant a fixture fee, dividing the cost 50-50. Now she is with another man, intends to move out and demands that I reimburse her for half. When I move, I will gladly give her half of what I get from the new tenant. I don't think I need to guarantee that she is reimbursed for her share when I have no such guarantee. What do you think? P.R., Queens 
A:
In New York, apartment laws about such things vary, but in many cases fixture fees (money a departing rental tenant demands from the new tenant) are illegal. But where that doesn't apply, your ex has a point. Despite the uncertainties of the situation, you should buy out her half. When any partners in love and real estate separate, the one who remains behind faces an uncertain home-finance future: the price of the place might go up or down. And yet that couple should have the place assessed and settle up at current market value. Needless to say, such contingencies should have been clarified before you took the place. I won't say I told you so, because, well, I didn't. 

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E) Slate/Dear Prudence: What to do when racial ancestry is unclear [Conseils sur la vie sentimentale et la vie tout court : Je viens de découvrir que j'ai une ancêtre noire ; lorsqu'une copine passe la nuit chez moi, elle traîne tout le lendemain ; après m'avoir annoncé qu'il est bi, mon mari me dit maintenant qu'il est gay ; je sais que mon mari est fidèle, mais comment répondre à une lettre anonyme disant qu'il me trompe ?]
http://slate.msn.com/id/2093305/
dear prudence: Ebony or Ivory?
What to do when racial ancestry is unclear.

Dear Prudie,
A person doing a genealogy discovered that a great-great-great-grandmother is listed on the census roles as a black person married to a white person. A female descendant of the grandmother moved to another state and passed for white. She states there were rumors of black ancestry, but she didn't realize that they were directly in her line. Now she has grandchildren of her own. Her relationship with her children is rocky because 20 years ago, she left an abusive husband who's "brainwashed" their children that she is crazy, that she caused everything that was wrong in the marriage, etc. This is just to give you a little background. Here is the question: How do you tell 40-year-old children that they have black ancestry? They are all successful movers and shakers, finished college, married well—and we know for sure that one wife would divorce the son if she knew. Is there any way out of this dilemma, or should she just die with this knowledge?

—Wondering

Dear Won,
Prudie's connection with this subject is limited, so she has enlisted a good and smart friend who is a black woman. Her suggestion is that the woman follow her instinct. "If this were 19th century New Orleans or Savannah," she says, "certainly your friend would go along with the zeitgeist of the time—which would be to say nothing and hope no one with an inexplicably deep tan showed up in baby pictures. The 21st century offers more options. One could be direct and say that in reviewing the family tree, a few black relatives were found a couple of centuries ago. The only substantial reason for this kind of revelation would be that the children are at risk for some diseases, such as sickle cell anemia, that are peculiar to black populations. Such a diagnosis could throw a doctor for a loop if he or she didn't have that patient's full genetic history ... or as much of it as possible. Or ... say nothing if you think that is the right thing to do." Rather than a dramatic Imitation of Life moment, however, you may get a big yawn. A great-great-great-grandmother, after all, is a very distant relation, and if Essie Mae Washington-Williams isn't embarrassed to be the daughter of Strom Thurmond, why would these 40-year-olds be embarrassed by the situation in reverse?

—Prudie, multiculturally
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Hi Prudie,
I'm 25 and have known a close pal for 10 years. My good friend always overstays her welcome when she sleeps over at my house. We don't see each other often as she lives an hour away. The day after sleeping at my place, she always hangs out in her PJs all day, even if I'm cleaning house, having a bath, on the phone, running errands, etc. Recently we both crashed at my boyfriend's place (whom she barely knows), and the next day she camped out on his couch for most of the day until I had to leave. Hints, subtle and obvious to most people, don't work. She just makes herself comfortable and has even ordered pizza at supper time. This has gone on for so long, I don't know how to kindly tell her she has to leave.

—Hiding My Welcome Mat

Dear Hide,
Oblivious friends are a drag, no? Your chum is apparently amortizing her one-hour trip by stretching out her stay as long as possible. Since you don't sound like a mi casa, su casa kinda girl, one approach might be to hustle her off the next morning, saying you unfortunately have things to do. Another would be to establish (better late than never) that when she comes to spend the night, it works better for you if the pajama party ends with breakfast.

—Prudie, hospitably
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Dear Prudence,
I have been married for six years. About a year ago, my husband told me he was bisexual. I was floored, but I believe that divorce is a sin in God's eyes, so I have tried to stay in the marriage. This past week, he decided it would be best to let me know that he is gay. I reminded him that he had told me he was bisexual, and his comment was, no, he is completely gay and has known deep down since he was 13 but hadn't the nerve to admit it to himself. I am very hurt, confused, and angry that he did not choose to mention this "detail" before our marriage. I don't know what to do. I don't think I can live in a marriage knowing that my husband is attracted to men because I am afraid he will act upon his feelings—if he hasn't already. But I still love him despite this revelation. I respect your opinion and would like to hear your thoughts on this.

—Churning

Dear Churn,
There certainly must be a lot of gay ladies and gents in denial or in "de closet" because Prudie personally knows more than one person in your position, and letters like yours come in fairly often. It is, to be sure, sad when someone in sexual turmoil annexes a straight husband or wife, but there you are. It is unclear exactly what you're asking, so Prudie thinks it best to refer you to people who have walked in your shoes. If you type the words "straight spouses" into a search engine, you will have many choices of support groups. Prudie wishes you well and sincerely believes that you will recover from this life-altering development.

—Prudie, forwardly
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Dear Prudence,
I received a letter informing me that my husband was having an affair. The letter was unsigned and offered no proof. The letter did not mention a specific woman by name but described someone who is involved in our life in a business matter and whose husband plays with my husband on a sports team. At times I have been uncomfortable with the interest she would show in my husband, but I am confident that he never encouraged or returned the interest. When I showed him the letter, he also felt it was describing this woman but assured me that he had never at any time been unfaithful—with her or any other woman. I completely believe him. He is a very family-oriented man who loves and respects me. For other reasons, the timing is very good right now for my husband to quit the activities that currently involve her and her husband, so he is going to do just that. Our question is whether we should let her know that we received this letter. We have no idea who sent it, but it could be her husband, out of jealousy, or perhaps she sent it herself in an effort to sabotage our marriage. We feel she needs to be told that she's been accused of this and perhaps should change her behavior. What is your advice in this matter?

—Secure in My Marriage, and Looking To Do the Right Thing

Dear Sec,
Prudie's inner Miss Marple says the husband did not do it; the wife did. There are head cases like this who write anonymous letters in the hope of making trouble and putting themselves in the middle of a drama. Do not mention the letter to anyone. The inference from your silence (as well as your husband's) will be that the issue was a non-starter and was dismissed by you, out of hand. (The woman would not change her behavior, by the way, simply because you suggest she do so. This kind of nuttiness is "suggestion-proof.")

—Prudie, confidently

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It is time to put a long-standing battle to rest. Very often, however incorrect it may be, when attending a potluck or an informal dinner with friends, the situation arises where one cuts and serves themselves a piece of cake or brownie. My wife and friends say that when doing this, particularly if the first row of cake is gone, you take from the edge and go toward the middle. I prefer to take a middle piece.

For that matter, what is wrong with cutting a piece of brownie out of the middle of the pan instead of starting at the edge? As is usually the case, I expect to be wrong, but would like to know the reasoning why middle-piece-loving individuals must continue to be oppressed, while edge and corner lovers get all the etiquette.

A:
Much as she hates to contribute to war in the middle-piece, Miss Manners cannot hope to relieve all of those who are oppressed. She got into enough trouble when she uncharacteristically appeased a snacker who wanted only the inside of the cheese and failed to observe the courtesy of cutting it so as to maintain its wedge shape.

What you suggest is wrong because it looks piggy and makes a mess. However, if you restrain yourself, you might be rewarded. Let two people get to the brownie pan ahead of you, and there will be a middle piece available for the taking. As for cake, most piggy people go for the icing and leave hunks of unadorned insides, which you can appropriate without penalty.
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Dear Miss Manners:

Why do people insist on knowing the sexual orientation of friends, co-workers and acquaintances? I have always thought it rude in the extreme to ask someone "Are you gay?" or "Are they gay?" To me, that is just like saying "Do you have sex?" This is no one's business but the parties involved, and possibly immediate family. It does not concern friends, co-workers and acquaintances.

For the record, I'm a happily married woman with a great husband and two kids. But for some reason, people seem to think that I spend my time peeking in bedroom windows, because I am asked this question constantly about people I know. When I am asked "Are they gay?" I reply with a snappy, and somewhat rude, "I wouldn't know. I'm not sleeping with him/her, so I didn't think it was any of my business." Miss Manners, is there a kinder way to convey that message? Or should I just ignore the question completely?
A:
You have two distinct questions here: Why people want to know about other people's sex lives, and whether it is any of their business.

The first is a psychological question, to which Miss Manners can only reply that everyone does, probably because it is juicier than listening to people complain about their jobs. The second is an etiquette question, to which the answer is that it is not their business.

The fact that people are naturally curious is unrelated to whether that curiosity can be legitimately satisfied. Nor should it inhibit you from insinuating that such curiosity is unseemly. (Notice that Miss Manners has no qualms about condemning a perfectly natural feeling as unseemly. Etiquette thoughtfully provides veils to throw over that which should not be seen.)

The gist of your reply is fine. Only the part about not sleeping with them is a little snippy. An airy "I have no idea" would do.

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The proclamation would have mirrored one that was passed for Zilwaukee's centennial in 1954 -- except then the permit cost $3. But now the shaving permit is optional. 

"We can't emphasize enough that this is a fun thing," Councilman Eugene Jolin Jr. said. "We don't want anyone to get mad or move out of town." 

Dorey said he still has a permit his grandfather bought for $3 during the centennial celebration 50 years ago. "I wouldn't take $300 for it now," Dorey said. "Years from now, my grandchildren can look back and say, `Look, Grandpa had to buy a permit to shave.'" 

The celebrations are set for June and, besides a beard-growing contest, are to include amusement rides, a dance, a parade and car and boat shows. 

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4) Slate/Television: Airline, A&E's new series, doesn't quite take off [Une nouvelle série de télé-réalité montre le fonctionnement d'une compagnie aérienne. Attente interminble garantie.]
http://slate.msn.com/id/2093850/
television: Terminal Boredom
Airline, A&E's new series, doesn't quite take off.
By Dana Stevens
Posted Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004, at 2:56 PM PT

First came the reality shows featuring impossibly attractive people in hothouse isolation (The Real World). Then there were those that showed ordinary people competing for supremacy in artificially constructed situations (Survivor, Fear Factor). Over the last few years, there's been a fad for Bachelor-type shows that place "real" people of varying levels of gorgeousness in the inherently suspenseful (if banal) context of romantic courtship. But with A&E's new series Airline (Mondays, 10 p.m. ET), reality television has finally reached degree zero. Apparently the lives of Americans are so empty, our companions such mirthless drones, that we would rather watch random homely people milling aimlessly around a place no one wants to be: the airport. Airline is a reality show without auditions, objectives, or rules; its only subject matter is everyday tedium, its only culling process the cutting-room floor. What's next on the reality-TV drafting board: I'm on Hold, You're on Hold? Loan-Office Lobbycam?

From the opening bars of the show's theme song, a jazzed-up version of "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by John Denver (a dubious choice, given that Denver died in a plane crash), there's something about Airline that's just slightly off. Consider the blurb chosen for the pre-show teaser: "The critics are flying high over Airline!" exults a voice-over before going on to note that, according to the Denver Post, the series "sticks out from the mid-winter lineup like a barf bag on a bumpy flight." Well, somebody's flying high if they think that's a good tagline.

Airline's biggest problem is its lack of momentum, which comes as no surprise, since this is a show about stasis: people stranded in airports because of inclement weather, dumb luck, or their own poor choices. Much of the conflict, such as it is, arises from some version of those awkward, I'm-going-to-have-to-ask-you-to-leave-sir moments that all of us have furtively witnessed in public places. There's Michael, an apparently homeless traveler who is delicately informed that his body odor is too bad for him to get on a plane (and provided with deodorant and a change of clothes by a sweetly mortified employee). Or John, an affable COS—that's Customer of Size—who's required to buy two tickets to accommodate his extra bulk. Such humiliations and inconveniences are, indeed, the bane of the long-distance traveler, but hardly the stuff of drama. In a typical bit of voice-over, the narrator intones, "Val faces a dilemma: How does she keep the customer satisfied, but still follow the regulations of the airline?" Roll over, Sophocles.

Airline, which focuses exclusively on the goings-on at the Southwest Airlines terminals at LAX and Chicago's Midway Airport, is based on a British reality show about that country's analogous low-cost carrier, EasyJet, which has, mystifyingly, kept audiences captivated for six seasons. Both network and airline attest that no money changed hands to secure the rights to the footage, but Southwest freely admits that it saw the opportunity as "18 hours of free publicity." Whether because of judicious editing or the employees' awareness of the camera, there's no question that, unlike the malodorous Michael, Southwest comes off smelling like a rose. In confrontation after confrontation, belligerent, buck-passing customers (like the woman who misses her own plane, then hangs around all day whining at the airline's incompetence) hassle forbearing, good-humored agents. In fact, the customers are so clearly the villains of the show that if you come away with any lesson in mind, it's "Jeez, I should really be nicer to people at the airport."

Given that FAA regulations preclude the filming of any real security breaches or moments of actual danger, there are, let's face it, a limited number of things that can happen in airports. Only four episodes into the season, no fewer than three storylines have already been repeated in slightly varying formats: an inebriated passenger is denied boarding until he or she sobers up; parents are required to prove that their child is two or younger before bringing the youngster aboard for free; a crowd of passengers becomes furious that the airline can't book them all free rooms after an act-of-God snafu.

In those rare moments that the show leaves the claustrophobic sterility of the airport (for example, a brief glimpse of Sam, a gay flight attendant, hitting a jackpot at the Vegas slots), we're afforded access into the behind-the-scenes workings of airline culture, a fascinating world that (unlike airport waiting rooms) few of us have ever seen. I'd like more of the bonding rituals of flight attendants onboard or a whole day with Colleen, the unflappably cheery customer service manager at Midway whose preternatural patience through the ordeal of the 2003 blackout—the subject of last night's episode—was like an inspirational homily to anyone who's ever almost lost it on the job.

The genre Airline most often evokes—if it can be considered a genre—is the customer-service training video, one of those in-house productions shown to new hires at all-day seminars in a carpeted basement room. As a nominee in the training-video Oscars, it would probably sweep the whole thing. But as reality programming, Airline's stakes are too low—will Mr. and Mrs. Chen make their connecting flight to Taipei?—to keep anyone not stuck in an airport glued to their seat.

Dana Stevens, aka Liz Penn, lives in New York and writes on film and culture for the High Sign.

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Chris Kirk found his downtown Olympia apartment encased in aluminum foil when he returned home Monday night from a trip to Los Angeles. The walls, ceiling, cabinets and everything in between shimmered, after the prank orchestrated by Kirk's longtime friend, Luke Trerice, 26, who was staying in the apartment while Kirk was away. 

"He's known for large-scale strangeness," Kirk, 33, told The Olympian. "He warned me that he would be able to touch my stuff, but it didn't sound so bad." 

Trerice, who lives in Las Vegas, and a small group of friends draped the apartment with about 4,000 square feet of aluminum foil, which cost about $100. Not surprisingly, the idea was hatched on New Year's Eve. "It was just a spur of the moment thing," Trerice said. "I really don't even consider it art. I consider it a psychology project. ... He seems to be upbeat, so I consider this a success." 

No detail was too small or too time-consuming. The toilet paper was unrolled, wrapped in foil, then rolled back up again. The friends covered Kirk's book and compact disc collections but made sure each CD case could open and shut normally. They even used foil on each coin in Kirk's spare change. And to sweeten the theme, they left silver Hershey's kisses sprinkled throughout the apartment. "The toilet was hard. The molding around the doorways took a very long time," Trerice said. 

Aside from "Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends," which doesn't include this particular trick, only a portrait of his girlfriend, the bed and a bath mat were left unfoiled. "He took special pains not to move anything," Kirk said. A foil-encased picture hanging outside his apartment was Kirk's first clue that something inside was amiss. "I heard him open the door and gasp and start laughing," said Beth Kelly, who lives in an apartment down the hall. "I love the quarters. It's almost more funny realizing the things that were left unwrapped." 

Andras Jones, who lives on the same floor, became curious about what was transpiring in Kirk's apartment as he noticed "a parade of strange characters" going in and out. 

Since Kirk's return the entire building has been buzzing about the transformation, Jones said. "There's a party atmosphere down by the room," Jones said. "Of course, everyone has their favorite part. I think the kitchen is just amazing." Kirk's awestruck neighbors and friends kept him up until late Monday night. He hasn't started unpacking his belongings and isn't sure when he will. "As I was trying to sleep last night, I realized that, actually, it's creepy," Kirk said. 

And as for whether Trerice will ever be allowed to stay again at the apartment unsupervised, Kirk said: "I don't know. We'll see." But Trerice hopes Kirk will find a way to get him back. "I'm going to be insulted if he doesn't try," Trerice said. "It's kind of a challenge." 

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Cable TV made a West Bend man addicted to TV, caused his wife to be overweight and his kids to be lazy, he says. And he’s threatening to sue the cable company. Timothy Dumouchel of West Bend wants $5,000 or three computers, and a lifetime supply of free Internet service from Charter Communications to settle what he says will be a small claims suit. Dumouchel blames Charter for his TV addiction, his wife’s 50-pound weight gain and his children’s being “lazy channel surfers,” according to a Fond du Lac police report.

Charter employees called police to the local office at 165 Knight’s Way the evening of Dec. 23 after Dumouchel showed up with a small claims complaint, reportedly intimidated an employee and made “low-level threats” to employees’ safety, according to a police report. The report states Dumouchel gave an employee five minutes to get a supervisor to talk to him or their next contact would be “in the ocean with the sharks.” 

According to the report, Dumouchel told Charter employees he plans to sue because his cable connection remained intact four years after he tried to get it canceled. The result was that he and his family got free cable from August of 1999 to Dec. 23, 2003. “I believe that the reason I smoke and drink every day and my wife is overweight is because we watched TV every day for the last four years,” Dumouchel stated in a written complaint against the company, included in a Fond du Lac police report. “But the reason I am suing Charter is they did not let me make a decision as to what was best for myself and my family and (they have been) keeping cable (coming) into my home for four years after I asked them to turn it off.”

According to the police report, Dumouchel called Charter to stop his cable service in August of 1999 and was taken off the billing but not the cable service. In a written statement, he said he put the family TV in the basement in 1999 after he had called to get cable disconnected, but soon thereafter, his wife had moved it back and hooked up the cable connection, and it still worked. He stated he “made a deal” with her that “she could watch TV as long as the cable worked.” He then went back to Charter and asked that they disconnect his service, which they reportedly never did. He stated that he called Charter several times to get the service disconnected for good because he felt it was addictive, according to the report.

Charter’s director of government and public relations for eastern Wisconsin, John Miller, says he doesn’t take the threat of a lawsuit seriously. “Even though we consider our services to be a very powerful entertainment product, I don’t think it’s reached a medical level yet where it could be proved to be addictive,” Miller said. “In our society, any kind of legal action shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone,” he added.

Wisconsin Circuit Court records show no civil lawsuit papers filed in Dumouchel’s name. 

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DETROIT, Michigan (AP) --When people think of Detroit, many picture a barren and unwelcoming place defined by violence and poverty -- but the city gets a chance to shake that reputation once a year. The annual North American International Auto Show, which opens to the public Saturday, brings hundreds of thousands of visitors to the Motor City. Last year, more than 810,000 attended. They come to check out the latest from the auto industry, but local officials hope they notice changes in the city as well. "This auto show gives us the opportunity to introduce Detroit to the world again," Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick said.

Since the last show, retail and nightlife have expanded downtown, as long-running development projects finally begin to bear fruit. Business owners say they see more activity lately, and restaurant-goers can't count on finding parking spots in front of their favorite establishments.

Once a booming industrial city with a population approaching 2 million a half-century ago, Detroit is fighting to attract people to its aging urban center. The city's population, which fell below 1 million during the 1990s, has continued eroding steadily in the new century, according to Census Bureau estimates released in July that put Detroit's population at 925,051 as of July 2002.

Morgan Quitno Press, a Lawrence, Kansas-based research company, has ranked Detroit as the nation's most dangerous city in the past four out of five years. The rankings are based on a city's rate for six crime categories: murder, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and motor vehicle theft.

Critics: Detroit has high murder rate, few restaurants

Of the 10 largest U.S. cities, Detroit had the highest per capita homicide rate last year -- 39 per 100,000 residents. However, some smaller cities, including the nation's capital, had higher per capita homicide rates. Less serious a problem, but still a source of widespread criticism, is that Detroit has few restaurants compared to other major cities and even fewer stores. Ornate buildings from the early 20th century stand vacant, their windows boarded up and interiors looted. Outside of rush hour, pedestrians are rare. Steam spewing out of heating pipes under the pavement makes the city seem even more desolate.

For at least a decade, Detroit's leaders have been saying downtown is undergoing a renaissance. The city's boosters say those who venture here only for occasional events like the auto show will see a difference. Entertainment options have been expanding, and nine new restaurants opened downtown last year, Kilpatrick said.

Among the physical changes in the past year is the opening of a new music center, which includes the restoration of the historic Orchestra Hall with its near-flawless acoustics. Compuware moved its headquarters from suburban Farmington Hills to downtown Detroit. Its new building, where about 4,000 people work, also houses a Borders bookstore and a Hard Rock Cafe, both of which opened to great fanfare in November.

These latest additions are part of a recent period of development that has included General Motors' 1996 purchase of the Renaissance Center skyscrapers for its headquarters, the opening of two new stadiums, an opera house and three casinos, and the conversion of many old buildings into lofts. "For us who've been around here through the dark days, it's like day and night," said Lowell Boileau, an artist whose online exhibit of photographs, "The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit" chronicles both decay and rebirth. "Five to seven years ago, you basically could have shot a cannon (through downtown) and not hit anybody."

Sorin Ratiu, a resident of nearby Sterling Heights, said the city seemed cleaner to him as he showed his visiting mother around on a recent afternoon. But Ratiu, 40, said Detroit was still "a bit desolate" and that he avoids it at night.

More changes have been promised in the coming years. A small park with a fountain is being built in front of the Compuware building. Plans are in the works for a system of connected parks along the riverfront. The 2006 Super Bowl, to be hosted by Detroit, is a target date for much of the work. Karla Zimmerman, who wrote the Great Lakes section of the upcoming edition of Lonely Planet's U.S. guide, said Detroit's "post-apocalyptic feel," combined with several renowned museums, make it a fascinating destination. "If you're from a different country and you're trying to get a feel for what the U.S.A. is like, Detroit is kind of a nice bite," she said.

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. 
 
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8) Salon: What French girls know [Le premier des secrets des Françaises : savoir que la passion vaut mieux que le bonheur]
http://www.salon.com/sex/feature/2004/01/12/french_women/
What French girls know
Young girls in France learn early in life that happiness is not as important as passion. 
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By Debra Ollivier

Jan. 12, 2004  |  "I've seen the way you behave with women. In that respect you are totally unreliable, but we could have an interesting life together." 
-- Pauline Potter, proposing to her future husband, Baron Philippe de Rothschild 

My girlfriend Natalie is not classically pretty, but that's never been a problem. She has a little belly, but she flaunts it. She has a little bit of extra butt. She flaunts that too. She's had her share of romantic encounters, but she's still single, over 35, and has lots of baggage, including a 5-year-old from a previous marriage who's earned the nickname of Rasputin. In many respects Natalie is the perfect candidate for Rachel Greenwald's new book "Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School." She's perfect except for one thing: Natalie is French. 

"I feel sorry for American women," she says over the phone. Natalie is in Paris; I'm in Los Angeles. We're talking on the phone about love, lust, girlhood, womanhood. Somehow we touch on Greenwald's new book, which exhorts women to use the same marketing techniques to find a mate as they would to, say, launch a new brand of tennis shoes. "You, the reader, are the 'product,'" Greenwald writes. 

I hear Natalie sigh over 6,000 miles of fiber optic cable. "Only in America could you get away with this type of lunacy. There is so much pressure on American women to be happy. To sweep away all traces of loneliness, to forget who you are in your search for a lover or a spouse. In France young girls learn that happiness is elusive; we learn that happiness is less important than passion." 

Natalie's comments remind me of a salient little metaphor: As girls we Americans sit in our field of daisies and pull off petals with, "He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not." Meanwhile French girls sit in their meadows with their marguerites and pull off petals with: "He loves me a little. A lot. Passionately. Madly. Not at all." Why does the little French girl innately think in nuances and increasing levels of passion while we're mired in the black-and-white of total love or utter rejection? 

According to Christophe, a French journalist with a seriously lush history of romance on both sides of the Atlantic: "Everything in your culture is defined like a contract, even the business of love. That's precisely the opposite in France. I've dated French women for months before I ever really knew who they were or what they wanted from me. After the first or second date, the American woman wants everything spelled out: 'Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend or just a friend?' A French woman doesn't do that. She doesn't give much away. She's comfortable letting things evolve naturally, but the ball's almost always in her court." 

Natalie concurs with this assessment. "There is a culture in France of the 'non-dit,' the not-spoken. What you don't say in France is as important as what is said. There are boundaries in language that create tensions. Even sexual tensions. The simple act of saying "tu" or "vous" is a boundary that invites intimacy or precludes it. We learn that we have more power when we keep things to ourselves than when we give things away. We learn that the art of seduction is based on innuendo and silences." 

Innuendo and silences? This sort of quiet, coded game of love is entirely baffling to us buffoonishly direct Anglos, and it's partly what's kept French women in the sexiness hall of fame for centuries. Never mind haute couture or racy lingerie. French women are a bundle of alluring contradictions that seem to perfectly coexist, like the unlikely mélange of sweet and sour. They're often annoyingly coy and darkly wanton. Many of them are not great beauties and yet are gorgeously compelling in the way they reconcile their imperfections. They tend to be more concerned with experiencing pleasure than with being liked and far more passionate about having a life than making a living. (Multitasking does not rank high on their list of positive attributes in a woman.) Plus they all seem able to walk gracefully in high heels on cobblestones the size of grapefruits. Talk about poise. 

This amalgam of qualities has given French femmes a singular sophistication that makes the dictates of Rachel Greenwald seem almost bizarrely childlike. In her classic "The French and Their Ways," Edith Wharton had already singled out this sophistication back in 1919. The French woman "is in nearly all respects, as different as possible from the average American woman," Wharton wrote. "Is it because she dresses better, or knows more about cooking, or is more 'coquettish,' or more 'feminine,' or more emotional, or more 'immoral'? The real reason is not nearly as flattering to our national vanity. It is simply that the French woman is more grown-up. [Wharton's italics.] Compared with the women of France the average American woman is still in kindergarten." 

Excusez-moi: Did you say kindergarten? I suppose if Wharton were comparing French and American women over the long course of history, then we Americans would be the innocent toddlers. When I was a girl I used to marvel at French women in history books precisely for this reason. They led armies of querulous men. They were burned at stakes. They got their heads chopped off for being petulant little queens. They were sexy and bellicose and bare-breasted. Even the symbol of the French Republic, the fair-haired Marianne, stormed Paris with (if we take Delacroix's depiction of her as our reference) her impudent and perfectly pulpy breasts exposed. French girls grow up with this legacy of women who were utterly feminine and totally kick-ass; a legacy of bare breasts, revolutions, royal courts, sex, death, blood, guts and great hair. Meanwhile, my generation of American girls grew up with Betty Crocker, Girl Scouts and training bras -- and Julia Child was as French as it got. How unfair is that? 

Perhaps American women are ahead of the French when it comes to liberation. "You Americans were grown-up feminists," Natalie says when I bring up Wharton's comments. "We took all of our cues from you. We were incredibly old-fashioned and repressed compared to American women when it came to feminism. But we never confused the power of feminism with the power of femininity, the power of the femme. Being a grown-up to a French woman means being complete, with or without a man, but still being in love with love." 

Christophe looks at the question differently. "We're a grown-up culture. America is a super power but historically you're barely adolescent. We were dismissing the Church because of its corruption hundreds of years ago while you Anglos were naively embracing it. History has taught us that you can't rely on dogma or doctrine. Relationships burn brightly, then die. We have our passions, our human tragedies, our loves and our losses. We have a couple of centuries of living and dying over you Americans." 

I suppose you have to call a historical spade a spade. We Americans are big, hormonally super-charged 13-year-olds raiding the fridge in quick-fix binges. The French are wizened denizens sipping Bordeaux and plumbing the depths of passion and pathos. To their credit the French, who can be exasperatingly pig-headed and irascible, do have a certain ripened maturity and an insatiable appetite for the harsh realities and curious lusts that characterize matters of the heart. This is partly why the myths of the French mistress and the Latin lover have endured over the centuries. It might also explain why the French are so iconoclastic, even quixotic, in their interpretations of love. 

I'm reminded of this sexy, baffling quality about the French time and time again. Most recently, it was while watching the Claire Denis film "Friday Night": Two strangers meet in a car in a traffic jam. They spend nearly the entire film in silence, end up in a hotel, make love rhapsodically, exchange a few words (barely) over pizza, make love again, then say goodbye. What just happened? Our leading lady -- who's not a great beauty but still lovely in an ordinary, je ne sais quoi way -- runs through the streets of Paris at night after her affair. All we know about her is that she's going to move in with her boyfriend. She's just left her mysterious lover in the hotel. Who is he? Will she see him again? Was it a one-night stand or the beginning of a long-term relationship? Our heroine runs down the street toward an unknown future, a liberating and strangely happy glow on her face. She doesn't seem to care. Clearly, Rachel Greenwald would not approve. 
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About the writer
Debra Ollivier has written for Harper's, Playboy and Le Monde. She is the author of "Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl." 

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9) The Economist: Accounting standards: Common ground [De nouveaux remous dans l'harmonisation des normes comptables]
http://www.economist.com/finance/displayStory.cfm?story_id=2304645
Accounting standards: Common ground
Dec 18th 2003
A move towards global accounting standards is proving controversial

ALL those transatlantic arguments, over Iraq, trade and so forth, can make it seem that Europe and America have nothing in common. Happily, in at least one area—accounting—there are signs of a rapprochement. On December 15th the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) proposed changes intended to bring American rules nearer to international norms. Two days later, the FASB's counterpart in Europe, the International Accounting Standards Board (IASB), presented rules for accounting for derivatives in line with American practice.

Since last October, the FASB and IASB have been working together to narrow the gap between their regimes. The ultimate goal is to create one set of global accounting standards. Doing so, they say, will boost cross-border investment, deepen international capital markets and save multinational companies, who must currently report under multiple systems, a lot of time and money. Much credit for the progress made is due to Robert Herz and Sir David Tweedie, presidents of the FASB and IASB respectively. Both have exhorted business people, officials and politicians to support moves towards common standards.

However, business people and politicians are less happy than the standard-setters might have hoped. In America, business groups are already grumbling about at least one of the FASB's four proposals. This would require firms to restate prior years' earnings after any accounting changes, rather than permit just a one-off adjustment as they do now. Businesses say that, in the wake of the big accounting scams at Enron and WorldCom, investors are wary of any earnings restatements, even innocent ones.

But the big fight in America is likely to break out early next year, when the FASB is to re-open the debate over stock options, which are treated as an expense in Europe but not (yet) in America. The last time this battle was fought, in 1993, the FASB backed down after some lawmakers, pushed by deep-pocketed lobbyists for the technology industry, which was a heavy user of stock options for employees, threatened to strip the board of its rule-setting powers. Once again politics is coming into play. Richard Baker, a key member of the House of Representatives' Financial Services Committee, introduced a “compromise” bill in November blocking the FASB from forcing firms to treat stock options for most employees as an expense. And yet, illogically, the bill would require that executives' options be regarded this way.

In Europe, the new accounting rules for derivatives are also controversial. Currently, European firms value derivatives at their purchase price, which is often close to zero. The new standards would force firms to use the market values of these instruments instead, as American and Japanese firms already do. The Bank of International Settlements estimated that there were $7.9 trillion of over-the-counter derivatives outstanding at the end of June.

Banks and insurance companies, which are big users of financial instruments, are riled, claiming that the new rules will make their profits intolerably volatile. Political heavyweights such as Jean-Claude Trichet, president of the European Central Bank, and France's president, Jacques Chirac, agree.

Although the European Commission has said that all listed European companies should use the IASB's accounting rules from 2005, the European Parliament has the power to reject any standards not to its liking. So far it has not done so, but there is a chance that politics could stand in the way of new rules.

More worrying, the rules that have been proposed so far are the easier ones. The IASB and FASB have the longer-term intention of tackling trickier accounting issues such as the treatment of mergers and deciding when revenue should be recognised. When these more difficult changes are proposed, the resistance is likely to be even fiercer.

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