1) Song of the week: "New Year's Day" by U2 
2) The New York Times Magazine: PowerPoint makes you dumb [Critique du logiciel PowerPoint qui rend bête]
3) The Los Angeles Times: Parade participants get a thrill while giving the displays an all-important sense of scale [Les figurants des magnifiques chars fleuris de la Parade des Roses du Nouvel An]
4) The Economist: British honours [Comment réformer le système critiqué des décorations officielles en GB ?]
5) (Southwest Florida) News Press: Councilman adds apology to office bio [Un conseiller municipal ment sur ses diplômes. C'est surtout ses excuses qui méritent le détour.]
6) The Wall Street Journal: Slapping Down A Touchy Trend: Urge to Join Hands [Dans de plus en plus d'églises américaines ont adopte la pratique de se prendre la main, ce qui dérange bon nombre de croyants]
7) Associated Press: Islanders' Santa promotion turns into a hockey fight [L'opération Père Noël d'une équipe de hockey se transforme en bagarre sur la patinoire]
8) The New York Times: Playground Injury Harmed Son's Career, Mother Says  [La mère d'un garçon de deux ans réclame des dommages et intérêts à la ville suite à un accident dans un parc municipal qui entrave sa carrière de mannequin (celle du gosse !)] 
9) The Economist: Women's magazines [Le marché publicitaire de la presse féminine]
10) Miami Herald/Dave Barry: Feeling sick? Blame your computer! [Humour : prévenir les risques des virus informatiques]
11) UPI: Expert forecasts for France in 2004 [Prévisions d'experts pour la France en 2004]

Yeah...

All is quiet on New Year's Day
A world in white gets underway
I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes on New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

I will be with you again
I will be with you again

Under a blood red sky
A crowd has gathered in black and white
Arms entwined, the chosen few
The newspapers says, says 
Say it's true it's true...
And we can break through
Though torn in two 
We can be one

I...I will begin again
I...I will begin again

Oh...
Maybe the time is right
Oh...maybe tonight...

I will be with you again
I will be with you again

And so we're told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage
Though I want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes 
On New Year's Day
On New Year's Day

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In August, the Columbia Accident Investigation Board at NASA released Volume 1 of its report on why the space shuttle crashed. As expected, the ship's foam insulation was the main cause of the disaster. But the board also fingered another unusual culprit: PowerPoint, Microsoft's well-known ''slideware'' program. 

NASA, the board argued, had become too reliant on presenting complex information via PowerPoint, instead of by means of traditional ink-and-paper technical reports. When NASA engineers assessed possible wing damage during the mission, they presented the findings in a confusing PowerPoint slide -- so crammed with nested bullet points and irregular short forms that it was nearly impossible to untangle. ''It is easy to understand how a senior manager might read this PowerPoint slide and not realize that it addresses a life-threatening situation,'' the board sternly noted. 

PowerPoint is the world's most popular tool for presenting information. There are 400 million copies in circulation, and almost no corporate decision takes place without it. But what if PowerPoint is actually making us stupider? 

This year, Edward Tufte -- the famous theorist of information presentation -- made precisely that argument in a blistering screed called The Cognitive Style of PowerPoint. In his slim 28-page pamphlet, Tufte claimed that Microsoft's ubiquitous software forces people to mutilate data beyond comprehension. For example, the low resolution of a PowerPoint slide means that it usually contains only about 40 words, or barely eight seconds of reading. PowerPoint also encourages users to rely on bulleted lists, a ''faux analytical'' technique, Tufte wrote, that dodges the speaker's responsibility to tie his information together. And perhaps worst of all is how PowerPoint renders charts. Charts in newspapers like The Wall Street Journal contain up to 120 elements on average, allowing readers to compare large groupings of data. But, as Tufte found, PowerPoint users typically produce charts with only 12 elements. Ultimately, Tufte concluded, PowerPoint is infused with ''an attitude of commercialism that turns everything into a sales pitch.'' 

Microsoft officials, of course, beg to differ. Simon Marks, the product manager for PowerPoint, counters that Tufte is a fan of ''information density,'' shoving tons of data at an audience. You could do that with PowerPoint, he says, but it's a matter of choice. ''If people were told they were going to have to sit through an incredibly dense presentation,'' he adds, ''they wouldn't want it.'' And PowerPoint still has fans in the highest corridors of power: Colin Powell used a slideware presentation in February when he made his case to the United Nations that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. 

Of course, given that the weapons still haven't been found, maybe Tufte is onto something. Perhaps PowerPoint is uniquely suited to our modern age of obfuscation -- where manipulating facts is as important as presenting them clearly. If you have nothing to say, maybe you need just the right tool to help you not say it. 

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Early New Year's morning, Walter Crawford plans to swallow a few Tylenols to fend off arm cramps, step onto a Rose Parade float and hold up a real 7-pound owl for millions to see as he stands in the shadow of two giant man-made owls, complete with pampas grass tails. Crawford is into wildlife conservation.

Cathy Perez will stand atop a giant garden bridge float made of rice and seeds and hold close to her heart an 8-by-10 photo of her deceased 5-year-old son, whose organs were donated. Perez hopes to inspire others to donate organs.

And then there are the three dozen high school musicians who think their participation may be a plus on their college applications; a Trader Joe's store manager who won a contest for the best in-store flower display; the daughter of a float builder who was given a float ride as a wedding gift from her dad; and two stuntmen who will be paid for their performance aboard a simulated freefalling elevator. Absent will be an unnamed congressman whose request to ride on a float was turned down by its builder.

In the predawn hours of New Year's Day, about 300 Tournament of Roses Parade riders will step aboard flower-festooned floats, strap themselves to safety bars and wildly wave to tens of thousands of cheering people who really care little about the human cargo aboard. Even so, the float riders, who tend to be an effusive bunch, said their appearance in one of America's most popular mega-events will be an experience of a lifetime, an unforgettable rush of adrenaline heaped with heartfelt messages or heavy commercial promotion. They will cry, shiver and shout out greetings. At the end of the day, they will nurse sore elbows and wrists.

Despite the hoopla built into their ride by float sponsors — it's an honor, it's a thrill, it's exhausting — to be a Rose Parade float rider means one is but a mere human prop amid the real stars of the parade: giant man-made floral displays of moving creativity. The role of a rider, according to float-builder purists, is to provide the all-important sense of scale for the millions watching the parade on the small screen at home. "The human eye can only relate to something that it knows," said Tim Estes, president of Fiesta Parade Floats. How else will television viewers — and there are estimated to be about 200 million worldwide — be able to tell how big a set of floating twin whales is? Or a trio of towering saguaro cactuses, or an animated smoke-breathing dragon? A human rider can provide that perspective.

The only riders who are supposed to attract attention are the professional stunt performers for Festival Artists, the float-building company that has made a name for itself with complex animation and performers who make daring leaps and drops. The role of stunt rider is to provide the live drama important to the integrity of the float's design. Darryl Ferges and his associates have been shot out of a float cannon, bungee jumped off a float, performed a ski jump off another, and have been lifted 25 feet in the hand of a giant purple character and dropped in its mouth. One year, Ferges dressed up like a baby bird and performed the chick's first flight by jumping out of a birdhouse 25 feet above street level. This year he will be inside a towering elevator that will simulate a freefall from 100 feet in the air. But his work as the fairy-tale character Jack, performing a 25-foot fall after being swatted off a beanstalk by an animated Green Giant, was among the most memorable rides. "I must have fallen off that vine 50 times. It was a brilliant float," Ferges said. "At the end of it all, I climbed into a hot tub for two days."

Float builders generally cringe at the placement of celebrity riders, who detract attention from their creations. They wince when large or tall people step aboard because they throw off the scale. Float designers have been known to camouflage extreme-size humans with flowers at the last moment. Children, small and cute, are almost always welcome adornments. The ideal rider, float builders said, is a smiling, nondescript waver of average build who enhances a float.

"I don't care one bit if anyone is looking at me; it's my chance of a lifetime," said Marie Janssen, one of eight Trader Joe's riders. Forty-three years ago, Jansen, an alto saxophonist, marched in the parade with the Dodge City High School Band from Kansas. Back then, she sheared sheep all summer to earn her train fare to the parade. This time around, she built an elaborate floral display at a Costa Mesa store and won a companywide decorating contest. "This is huge. The company is giving a dinner reception for us, we get a tour of the corporate office, we get a jacket and a new Hawaiian shirt," she said, referring to the uniform store employees wear.

A few float sponsors don't want the hassle or additional cost of flying out employee riders and putting them up in hotels. Estes said he has asked his wife, neighbors and other relatives to ride on floats. But most float sponsors, both corporations and charitable groups, build yearlong incentive programs and contests around the selection of float riders, who will be ambassadors of sorts before millions of television viewers and spectators. Among the riders this year will be the winners of essay contests, salespersons of the year, volunteers of the year and an employee who won the "Spirit of Longaberger" company award.

Executives of Luxottica Retail, which operates the LensCrafters and Sunglass Hut chains, began brainstorming sessions last summer to select seven float riders. Should they hold a companywide lottery, or a contest of some sort? They settled on a nomination system for employees who have volunteered with LensCrafters' "Gift of Sight" program, which provides glasses and eye exams for poor people throughout the world. Judy Smith, 67, a Sacramento optician who helped launch the program and has been on 10 international eye-exam missions, was one of the winners. "I was home in bed reeling from chemotherapy treatment when I got the call, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing," Smith said. "This is totally mind-boggling, and being on the float is truly the light at the end of my tunnel as far as recuperating from breast cancer."

Many other riders' stories are likewise loaded with emotion. They view their ride down Colorado Boulevard as a powerful symbol of heroism or goodwill. Denae Perry, 30, began to weep as she talked about her selection as a rider on a float depicting a towering Uncle Sam and Liberty Bell, sponsored by Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve, an agency of the Defense Department. She was selected because she is the widow of the first National Guardsman killed in Iraq. Staff Sgt. David Perry died when a suspicious package he was inspecting exploded. "He evacuated the building and set up a perimeter, saving many lives, before he went to inspect it," Perry said. "Riding on the float is going to be very difficult for me, but anything I can do to honor my husband and keep his memory alive, I'll do." Riding with her will be Capt. Kris Marshall of the Army National Guard. His mother wrote an essay that won him a spot on the float. Marshall, who has been serving in Afghanistan, accepted the ride on one condition: He would not travel to the States until after Christmas so as not to abandon his troops over the holiday.

Sophisticated public relations agendas are behind the appearance of some riders. Some PR efforts fail, such as attempts by representatives of soap-opera stars to get their clients on board a float. Bill Lofthouse of Phoenix Decorating Co. said he got a letter from the office of a California congressman this year, requesting a float debut. "I told them all my slots were taken, and it was a truthful answer," he said. 

Estes, of Fiesta floats, is hoping Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter of "Trista and Ryan's Wedding" fame won't steal attention from the drama of the 100,000 roses that will grace the "Love Songs" float he has designed for FTD. Rehn was "The Bachelorette" on an unscripted ABC miniseries who chose Sutter, a Colorado firefighter, as her man by giving him a rose. The couple then got married on TV in a multimillion-dollar wedding (paid for by the network) adorned with 30,000 Ecuadorean roses — a connection to the Rose Parade that appealed to FTD. Because the company paid for the float, it has the final say on riders. Estes, however, has been having flashbacks to the year a float sponsor approved the placement of the canine star of the film "Benji" on its float. "The cameras focused on Benji. Everyone talked about Benji," he recalled. "They didn't show the float, never talked about the float. It was Benji, Benji, Benji."

Tiffany Bierer was one of those riders known only to their families and friends. Bierer, a pet nutritionist who rode on the Whiskas cat food float last year, is a Rose Parade aficionado who for four years helped decorate her company's entry. Her dedication earned her a chance to show off her aggressive wave. "They tell you not to wave hard because your arm will turn to jelly, but I waved like a madwoman," she said. "You feel like you are a star for those few seconds as you pass people."

Among the most veteran of float riders are Jack Hanna, of the TV show "Jack Hanna's Animal Adventures," and Walter Crawford, director of the World Bird Sanctuary. The duo have appeared together on the Rain Bird float for four years. Crawford said he works out his arm for months to be able to hold up an exotic bird for three straight hours. Hanna said he once experienced the dreaded worst-case scenario feared by every float rider: the need for a bathroom break. He ended up waving down the owner of a business along the route, rushing off the float, using the restroom and then running back to the float 30 yards down the road. Other parades have been devoid of such personal emergencies. But for a man who has traveled the world, the five-mile parade route is among his most rigorous and exciting of journeys. "You are constantly smiling and waving. You are standing in the same small place for five hours," Hanna said. "I've jumped out of planes, dived with great white sharks and have been bitten by snakes, but the experience of riding in the Rose Parade tops most of them."

Copyright 2004 Los Angeles Times

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A FEW small letters can make such a big difference. Much happiness comes to a favoured few at this time of year, when the British government publishes the “New Year Honours List” awarding everything from peerages, which bring real if modest power as a member of the upper house of Parliament, to hundreds of lesser gongs, richly titled and bafflingly gradated: who knows (or cares very much about) the difference between the Most Honourable Order of the Bath and the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire?

The coming year's honours have been particularly controversial because of leaks to newspapers revealing both the rum way the worthy are distinguished from the unworthy, and that some 300 public figures in past years have declined to be honoured at all. There have been predictable calls to ditch the fusty feudal flimflam for a streamlined, modern system. 

That would be sensible, but also duller. Given the innate absurdity of most decorations, any alternative system should at least be more entertaining than the current one.

Why not use new technology to make the whole thing more democratic? Over the past year, British television channels have successfully used interactive television as a way of establishing the nation's favourite books, buildings, musicals and historical figures. Perhaps deserving dignitaries could be locked up together for weeks on end, battling to do the washing-up to prove their public-spiritedness.

A more precise way of gauging public opinion might be better, though. Celebdaq, for example, is a market run by the BBC for those interested in celebrities: the names are freely traded and their stock rises or falls according to the press coverage they gain each week. That could stretch to gongs as well as gigs, and could resolve the government's problem of how to deal with reforming the House of Lords: replace the hereditary principle with the celebrity principle.

SOLD TO THE FAT CAT IN THE CORNER

But the best solution is the simplest: to sell honours for cash. This already happens under the counter. Big donors to political parties get peerages not for “services to industry” or “services to culture” but for services to keeping the prime minister's or the opposition leader's flunkeys in a job. 

At present, the system is obscured by embarrassment. It would be better to make it transparent and give the proceeds to the taxpayer. A public auction for titles would raise the largest possible sum as well as providing an entertaining spectacle. At the top end, hereditary dukedoms could go for many millions; at the bottom, a few obscure imperial letters for a few thousand. This would solve many problems. In an age when finding the perfect Christmas gift is so difficult, what better love token for the woman in your life than a damehood?

This system, though ideal, might be temporary. Given that there is no external constraint on the number of honours that can be awarded, the temptation for the government would be to increase their supply and thus reduce their worth. Never mind. Devaluation would be a gentle and lucrative end

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Rosado backs off college degree claim
Councilman adds apology to office bio
By DON RUANE, druane@news-press.com
Published by news-press.com on December 2, 2003

Cape Coral Councilman Mickey Rosado may have violated two state laws during his election campaign this year by claiming that he had a bachelor’s degree. His campaign brochures had the information and he made statements that he had the degree, but there was never an intent to mislead the public, Rosado said Monday. 

Rosado has since added an apology to an overview of his background that he has available in his city hall office. The apology reads: “I would like to simply apologize for a statement I had said two or three times in regards of my education, I have not graduated from college yet but have attended and wanted to let the public know that I continue my studies in the near future to get my bachelors degree and again, if you have any questions please call me.” 

He said he was not aware of the statutes in question. The first law says at the beginning: “Any person who, with intent to defraud, misrepresents his or her association with, or academic standing or other progress at, any postsecondary educational institution” is guilty of a misdemeanor of the first degree. The second law states in part: “No person in the state may claim, either orally or in writing, to possess an academic degree as defined in statute 1005.02, or the title associated with said degree, unless the person has, in fact, been awarded said degree...” The statute goes on to describe institutions that issue degrees. The violation also is a first-degree misdemeanor. Firrst-degree misdemeanors are punishable by up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. 

So far no complaints have been filed with the state attorney’s office about Rosado, state attorney spokeswoman Chere Avery said. 

Rosado claimed that he has a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Sacramento City College. He needs 48 of the 165 credits for the degree. He hopes to finish the degree after he has paid off the school debts he already has pending. The brochure publisher made an error, and it was too late and too costly to throw them away and print new ones, Rosado said. “We didn’t have the funding to do that,” he said. “It was a crisis.” 

The printing was the only brochure he produced, he said. Time should have been taken to correct each brochure, he added. He repeated the claim at campaign appearances on the advice of his campaign staff, he said. They wanted to avoid sending a confusing message, Rosado said. 

Councilwoman Gloria Tate and Councilman A.J. Boyd both said they had not heard about the state statutes and the possibility of a violation. Tate asked for the statute numbers — 817.566 and 817.567 — so that she could read them. The issue is not a big deal, Boyd said. “It’s a gray area to me. I’ve got a lot bigger fish to fry,” he said. But if the issue rises to a criminal case it will become more significant for the council, Boyd said. 

Cape Coral City Councilman Paul Asfour said he read the statutes after he heard about them and that they might apply to Rosado’s case, but that’s a matter for the state attorney’s office. Asfour said he doesn’t plan to contact the state attorney’s office. “It’s not my job to file a complaint,” Asfour said. The council probably could censure Rosado, but it has no power to remove him, Asfour said. He has not given any thought to seeking a censure, he said.

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Setting out recently for the wedding of some friends in Alexandria, Va., Kenneth Wolfe expected the worst. Sure enough, about halfway through the ceremony, a female acquaintance tried to take his hand. Mr. Wolfe was prepared. "At funerals and weddings especially, what I do is have a rosary in my left hand, and a missal in my right hand," he says. With his hands full, he could politely smile at his friendly neighbor, who had to withdraw her outstretched palm. Mr. Wolfe, a government worker, is one of a growing number of Americans who think that hand-holding has gotten out of hand.

Many people say they have noticed hand-holding breaking out at events where they wouldn't expect it. Some Boston Red Sox fans were aghast to see it in the stands during tense moments of the playoffs in October. Ministers and rabbis say hand-holding during grace at family meals is on the rise. Miss Manners, the etiquette guru, addressed the issue of hand-holding in church in a column last year. Her advice to those uncomfortable with the practice: "Put both your hands behind your back and give your unknown neighbor a regretful little shake of the head, accompanied by a friendly look, to indicate that it is nothing personal."

The hand-holding trend follows the rise of evangelicalism, a possible yearning for more affection after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and an influx of immigrants from more demonstrative cultures. As it crests during the holiday season, the practice makes some people uncomfortable. "It's inappropriate," says Karen Hickey, a homemaker in Alexandria who calls hand-holding part of "the whole Oprah-ization of America." She says she occasionally pretends to tie her shoe to avoid it. "I'm sure people must think bad things of me," she says.

Hands can reach out to the unwilling quite unexpectedly. A couple of years ago, recalls Richard Diamond, an office worker in Washington, a friend invited him to dinner at his home. Just after sitting down at the small, square table, the friend and his wife each seized one of Mr. Diamond's hands before his friend said the blessing. Afterward, Mr. Diamond says, he took his friend aside, and asked, "What's with the hand-holding?" In subsequent meals at the couple's home, everyone kept his hands to himself. Mr. Diamond says hand-holding represents "phony pop culture, everything that's bad about sitcoms."

The subject divides some families. Elizabeth Lanou introduced the practice to her Virginia family a few Thanksgivings ago after enjoying it at church dinners. Before the meal, she extended her arms and suggested everyone join hands. "It brings a sense of peace, like a bond," she says. But Ms. Lanou isn't sure everyone in her family has warmed to the tradition, even after several years. "I don't think Mom loves it all that much," she says. "She's not as touchy-feely as I am." "She's right," says Ms. Lanou's mother, Holly Hoven. "I don't like it, but others do. So when someone suggests it, I go along."

That's the attitude of many reluctant hand-holders. "I think anyone can tolerate it for a few minutes," Fred Newcombe, a lawyer in Owl's Head, Maine, says about hand-holding during blessings before holiday meals. He first experienced it at his family's large holiday meals, where more than two dozen relatives sometimes attend. Such a large group can't all fit at one table, but they can stand together for prayer. "I think it's the type of thing that once you overcome your natural reserve, I'm not going to say it's an enjoyable thing, but you perhaps appreciate it," says Mr. Newcombe.

Rabbi Sue Anne Wasserman of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations says some synagogues embrace hand-holding, with complicated results. "There are people who position themselves in places where they don't have to hold hands," she says. "They just stand in a corner, where they're not close to people."

On religious Web forums, such as a Roman Catholic bulletin board at greenspun.com, debate rages over whether to hold hands in certain parts of the services, such as the Lord's Prayer. The official stance: The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops prefers that worshipers raise their open hands in a position known as orans rather than hold hands. "The Lord's Prayer is a prayer to the Father and not primarily an expression of community and fellowship," the bishops write.

Write to Sarah McBride at sarah.mcbride@awsj.com1 

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A seemingly harmless Christmas promotion arranged by the New York Islanders turned ugly, and all because of the team's fierce rivalry with the New York Rangers. And the Rangers were nowhere near when trouble broke out.

The promotion invited fans to dress up as Santa Claus for Tuesday night's game against the Philadelphia Flyers and be admitted to the Nassau Coliseum for free. What's more, they were permitted to parade across the ice between periods. About 1,000 Santa Clauses showed up and as promised, they were invited on the ice after the first period.

This turned out to be not such a good idea. As the Santas milled around, two of them removed their red jackets to reveal jerseys of the rival Rangers -- not a good thing to do in the home of the Islanders. Ignoring the holiday spirit, some of the other St. Nicks jumped the Ranger fans. The interlopers were knocked to the ice and had the shirts ripped off. Other Santas went sliding across the ice during the melee that took six minutes to settle down.

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STAMFORD, Conn., Dec. 26 — The mother of a 2-year-old boy who cut his head at a playground last month is seeking damages from the city of Stamford because, she says, he will lose wages as a child actor and model. The boy, Konrad Mader, of Old Greenwich, was running at a playground on Nov. 4 when he crashed into a pole, according to his mother, Deena Mader. In a letter to the city required as a precursor to a suit, Ms. Mader contends that the playground is dangerous and that more children will be hurt because of a "design flaw or oversight."

The case was first reported Friday in The Advocate of Stamford.

Konrad was running up a ramp toward a treehouse at Twin Meadows playground in Stamford about 10:30 a.m. when he ran into a pole where the ramp curved, according to Ms. Mader's letter. With his mother looking on, Konrad fell back, and his head started to bleed, the letter says. A plastic surgeon stitched the boy's forehead, which had been pierced to the bone, his mother wrote.

In her letter, Ms. Mader contends that the poles in the playground, which are green, are hard to distinguish because they blend in with the the surroundings. The metal poles on the ramp, which hold up guardrails, are squared; they should be rounded, she added. In pictures attached to the letter, the right side of Konrad's forehead is scarred by stitches. 

The letter does not indicate what kind of modeling or acting the boy has done, and his mother did not return three phone calls. Ms. Mader requests money for pain and suffering as well as medical bills and a "lost wage amount due to his inability to audition or take modeling or commercial jobs while his head heals." One modeling agent said a child model could earn anywhere from minimum wage to hundreds of dollars per hour, depending on whether the job was with a local store or a company like the Gap.

Thomas M. Cassone, director of legal affairs and corporation counsel for Stamford, said he received Ms. Mader's letter on Monday and was still investigating the complaint. He said he had seen numerous tort claims filed on behalf of children, but never for lost modeling income.

The playground, which is next to Stillmeadow Elementary School, opened in October. The community took great care to make it safe, Mr. Cassone said. "The irony is that it's a handicapped-accessible, state-of-the-art playground," Mr. Cassone said. "If there's a safer playground, I'd be surprised." The guardrails, he added, do not appear to be a problem. "It seems like it's a fairly obvious guardrail," he said. "It's not like it's up against bushes."

The playground was designed especially for children with disabilities. Frank J. Mercede, who owns a family construction company in Stamford, raised $750,000 in private donations and state funds to build the playground.

Mr. Mercede dedicated the park to his twin 6-year-old daughters, one of whom has quadriplegic cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. And it is in a particularly opportune spot, Mr. Mercede said. Stillmeadow has the highest percentage of children with disabilities of all the schools in the city. "It was placed there so it could get the most use from the challenged population," he said.

Even Ms. Mader calls the playground "generally amazing and a lovely addition to the community," but she contends that the flaws need to be fixed before other parents find themselves in similar predicaments. "More children will be hurt at this playground as a result," she wrote.

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MAGAZINE advertising is in its worst slump for decades. Ad pages are down, rate cards are under pressure and editorial content is being trimmed. So why does the September issue of American Vogue run to a staggering 750 pages and weigh over 1.6 kilos? Pick up four such brick-heavy titles to while away a plane journey and you could exceed your hand-baggage allowance with magazines alone. 

Vogue is not the only doorstopper among the women's glossies this autumn, but it is the most arm-aching. Such is the inch-thick wedge of advertising pages inside this Condé Nast fashion bible that the first article does not appear until page 206. Its handbag-sized sister title, Glamour, runs to 326 pages in October, up by 17% from last year. The boom is not limited to America. The number of advertising pages in the October issue of Glamour's British version is up by 77% from the same month last year. British Marie Claire, from the AOL Time Warner stable, crows on its October cover that this is its biggest issue ever. Its November issue will be 7% longer again.

Contrast this with the once-fat news and business magazines, including (to a degree) The Economist, but above all the technology titles. In the first eight months of 2002, the number of ad pages fell by 72% compared with the same period of 2001 at Red Herring, and by 46% at Wired.

What is going on? Part of the boom is seasonal. September and October, along with March and April, are always the fattest issues for the fashion magazines. They coincide with the autumn and spring catwalk shows, when the big fashion houses get the chance to display their wares not only through paid advertising but in gushing editorial copy. The New York shows began on September 18th, as soon as London's fashion week ended. A September issue, says Peter Kreisky, a media consultant, serves as a “directory of the fashion industry: nobody wants to be left out.”

Some advertisers may be switching from business and news titles to the women's magazines out of fear that their products will be contaminated by association with bad news, which those publications now have in abundance. “I've got a number of advertisers who have told me: don't put me next to negative coverage of the economy,” says Jeff Piper, who places ads in the American press for Carat, a media-buying agency. Plainly, not all products transfer neatly from business to fashion titles. But certain items, such as luxury watches, cars or mobile telephones, seem to be as content nestling next to articles entitled “I'm a monster in bed” or “The truth behind the Britney backlash” as they once were amid stories on corporate strategy.

Perhaps the most important reason, however, is the robustness of retail spending amid the general economic downturn. In particular, women seem to be spending as never before—even the circulation figures at Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Glamour and their sisters are racing ahead. Flick through the glossies and it is not just the luxury-goods houses—which have traditionally supplied the fashion magazines' aspirational allure—that are splashing out. GAP, for instance, a middle-market retailer, occupies 15 full advertising pages in the September issue of American Vogue.

For now, the retail-led boom shows no signs of abating. “There are so many huge new temples to fashion being opened, and they need to be promoted,” comments Nicholas Coleridge, managing director of Condé Nast UK. Earlier this year, Prada, an Italian fashion house, opened swish new stores in London and New York. Giorgio Armani plans to open 18 new stores this autumn. Until the retail bubble bursts, the more new stores that open, the longer the magazines that flatter them will stay fat. The only trouble for fashionistas will be finding the muscle to carry both the bulging shopping bags and the bulky magazines that inspire their contents. 

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It's time once again for Keyboard Korner, the computer-advice column that uses simple, ''jargon-free'' terminology that even an idiot like you can grasp; the column that shows you how to ''take command'' of your personal computer, if necessary by reducing it to tiny smoking shards with a hatchet.

Today on Keyboard Korner we will address a very important topic: computer security. If you own a computer, or have touched a computer, or have ever shaken hands with somebody who might have touched a computer, you need to take precautionary measures NOW. Because modern cyberspace is not the friendly, open, trusting, safe place it was back in February. Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as ''viruses,'' ''worms,'' ''Trojan horses'' and ''licensed Microsoft software'' that can take over your computer and render it useless.

This is exactly what happened last summer when the ''SoBig'' virus infected computers around the world, causing millions of computer users to be completely cut off from the Internet during what turned out to be a critical phase in the relationship of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Fortunately, most of these computer users were able to resume monitoring the situation by turning on their televisions. But precious minutes were lost.

If you want to prevent a similar tragedy from happening to you, you should immediately take the following steps to protect your computer from viruses:

• 1. Determine what version of operating system your computer uses, and write this information on a piece of paper. If you don't know how to determine the version, just write down ``Version 2.038.''

• 2. Now write down the numbers and expiration dates of all your credit cards.

• 3. Now mail this information, along with your mother's maiden name, to

WARNING WARNING DELETE DELETE

Whoa! That was a close one! A computer virus just attempted to take over the Keyboard Korner column WHILE YOU WERE READING IT. That's how sophisticated these darned things have become!

And that's why it is so important that you take certain simple, basic steps to protect your computer. To determine what these steps are, Keyboard Korner called the Association of Technical Support Personnel Who Actually Understand Computers, where, after a brief wait, we were connected with a cheerful, knowledgeable and sympathetic recorded message informing us that we would be kept on hold until the sun was a cold dark cinder the size of a walnut.

So we decided to do our own research into computer security, and here's what we learned: There is a Nigerian businessman, Mr. John Ombmwlbmle, who has come into possession of $285 million in cash, and he needs to give 35 percent of it to somebody, and out of all the people on the planet earth, he has chosen Keyboard Korner! All we had to do is send him some banking information and samples of our signature! So pretty soon we will be on ''Easy Street'' and won't have to write this stupid computer advice column for you losers, so ha ha ha!

But in the meantime, here are some simple, basic steps that you can take to make your computer secure:

• 1. GET RID OF TEENAGERS -- Teenagers are a major cause of computer trouble, because they think they're so smart, and they're always messing with things and changing things and installing things and swapping songs and downloading disgusting porno filth that they refuse to share with their parents. To prevent this from happening to you, get a good anti-teenager program such as Teen-B-Gone, which causes the computer, when booted up, to play, at full volume, a video of Mr. Barry Manilow singing his rousing hit number Copacabana. (NOTE: Teen-B-Gone is a complex program; to install and configure it properly, you will need the help of a teenager.)

• 2. CHECK FOR INCOMING ELECTRICITY -- One factor common to many computer viruses is that, in order to function, they require electricity. Get down on your hands and knees and crawl under your desk; do you see a wire going from the computer to the wall? If so, chances are that -- unbeknownst to you -- this wire is bringing electricity directly into your house from a massive ''power grid'' that is also connected to prisons, crack houses, municipal sewage facilities, porno filth stores, etc. Yank it out. (The wire, we mean.) Then curl into a fetal position and REMAIN UNDER THE DESK, because there are new computer viruses out there now that can travel through the air and bypass your computer entirely and enter your brain via your dental fillings. Keyboard Korner can feel it happening right now.

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PARIS, Dec. 31 (UPI) -- Just about every indicator -- from a sagging economy, to the prospect of social unrest over unpopular reforms and a looming religious symbols ban -- points to a turbulent 2004 for France. United Press International's Paris correspondent Elizabeth Bryant interviewed four experts in the fields of politics, economics, religion and culture. Here's their forecast for the year ahead.
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ON POLITICS: Dominique Moisi, analyst at the French Institute for International Relations: 

France-U.S. ties: Relations between France and the United States can only improve in the year ahead. The Americans need the international community -- including France -- to rebuild Iraq. And the French want to restore a more balanced and normal relationship with the United States... especially assuming they may have to live with the Bush team for at least 5 more years. So on both sides there's a resignation to a warming relationship.

France and Europe: What happened in Brussels -- with the failure to agree on a European Constitution -- was a major failure for Europe. What we're witnessing is a return to national emotions in Europe prevailing over the idea of European Unity... and French and German actions were also largely counterproductive. If they had not violated the stability pact (on budget deficits), and offered a very bad example, they would be more popular. It will be difficult to counter all this in 2004...

Domestically: It's clear (French President Jacques) Chirac has a very weak prime minister. That's normal in the Fifth Republic -- the prime minister is there to make the unpopular decisions, which Jean-Pierre Raffarin has been doing relatively well, until a few months ago. Chirac may replace him after the regional and European elections, next spring...

...During the general elections it's also feared the extreme right and extreme left will do very well. We shall see. But the two represent nearly 40 percent of French public opinion. That's huge, and a very bad omen for democracy.
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Economy: Veronique Riches-Flores, economist on European affairs, Societe Generale Banking Group.

Economic Growth: We're predicting France's economy will grow only 1.2 percent in 2004. That's lower than estimates by the government and INSEE (the French statistical agency.)
A lot of economists believe France will be saved by the resurgence of the U.S. and Asian economies, and export growth. But the euro is growing strongly, and we think that will prevent French companies from taking advantage of the international demand...

A number of factors will also continue weighing on household income and spending. For example, we predict French businesses are going to continue with massive layoffs.

Health and other reforms: The problem is, we don't have much choice besides reform. The government's got to reduce the deficit. The big risk comes if the government fails to reform the health sector, and they increase social security taxes instead...

France is generally less advanced compared to other EU countries. Germany, for example, has launched a reform program -- although it has a long way to go.

Public debt: The government's going to have to do something sooner or later...because we'll soon arrive at a point we're borrowing exclusively to pay interest on the public debt. So I think the government's going to take steps to address the public debt.

Foreign investment: There's an impression that France is losing steam, including in foreign investment. And that's going to continue in 2004. Foreign investment here will be less significant than it was during the past two years.
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RELIGION: Jean Bauberot, director of the Group of Sociology of Religions and Secularism, in Paris. Also member of a presidential secularity commission that recently advised a law banning "ostentatious" religious symbols in French schools. Bauberot abstained in voting for a ban, which is considered mostly aimed at Islamic headscarves.

Impact of a religious symbols law: I think the most-likely reaction will be the creation of new private, state-subsidized Muslim schools in a few years. So we may be heading toward a bizarre situation in which the headscarf is banned in public schools, but the French government helps finance private schools accepting veiled pupils. That appears to be among the most counterproductive aspects of a law.

Across Europe: I don't think other European countries will follow suite. The question that is coming up in Germany, for example, deals with teachers, not students. Besides, Germany is a federal state, and other European countries are more decentralized than France...

That's one of my fears -- that France will become a little bit different in Europe... certainly, freedom can't be limitless. But in the case of the headscarf, I'm not certain whether there needed to be a restriction on expression. 

On a religious reference in a future European Constitution: "There's a chance of more debate... and in France as well. In 2005, France will celebrate the centennial of the 1905 law (separating church and state). But the debate over secularity isn't over. It's resurging -- in part with the defeat of the European constitution, and with Chirac's pronouncement in favor of a religious symbols law.
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Society and the arts: Georgina Oliver, arts and style columnist and assistant editor for the Paris Voice, an English language magazine:

French society and government: There's always a push and pull between government and non-government... It's come up with this year's protests by the "intermittents du spectacle" (part-time performing arts workers), and by tobacconists over proposed cigarette price increases. Or with this "CNN a la Francaise" (expected to be launched in 2004), which will be partly state financed, but doesn't want to be reliant on the government... It's a push and pull that's evident in other aspects of French life, but it's more evident in the cultural field.

And French museums: It's the same thing. You can't organize any event without private sponsorship. At the same time, state-initiated projects play a vital role. For example, we're finishing the year of Algeria (featuring Algerian art, music and other cultural exhibits) and launching the year of China -- which will include a Chinese New Year's parade down the Champs Elysees... All this also connects to France's foreign relations strategy, and which countries it wants to cultivate.

The private sector: Museums are becoming business-style brand names, with private sponsorship for exhibitions, whether in the form of transportation, logistics or food for an opening. At the same time, private companies like Renault (the French automobile manufacturer) are adding a cultural twist. For example, Toyota is hosting free jazz events at its main show room in Paris.
 

Cafe society: Cafe culture, in the sense of a renewed cafe society, is thriving in France. Cinemas aren't just multiplexes -- you'll see all kinds of things added on to the idea of going to a cinema. For example, Le Balzac -- the only surviving, independent cinema near the Champs Elysees -- organizes theme dinners... but most of the old-style "tabac" bistros really need cigarette sales to keep going.

Copyright © 2001-2004 United Press International

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